Hurting The Ones That We Love

“If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up in arms, and it would be the lead story on the news every night” Rep. Mark Green

It is estimated that there may be up to six million victims of domestic violence each year. One in four women will experience domestic violence within their lifetime, and 3 out of 4 people will know someone who is or was a victim of domestic abuse (Domestic Violence Statistics, 2011).

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), “domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in which on intimate partner uses physical violence, coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, and emotional, sexual, or economic abuse to control the other partner in a relationship” (as cited from Glossary-domestic violence). Although women are most commonly the victim, men are also victims of domestic violence. When men and women are separated or divorced they are more likely to be victims of domestic violence. Domestic violence can also turn into murder. In 2000, domestic violence accounted for 30% of murders of women and 5% of murders of men (Domestic Violence Statistics, 2011).

People who are victims of domestic abuse have a hard time coming forward and reporting the abuse that they live through. Society’s view that only women can be victims of domestic violence makes it difficult for most men to get help. To some men admitting that their partner is abusing them is like giving up part of the manhood.

Being a victim of domestic violence has a large impact on a person’s life, whether they are a man or woman. They can suffer from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder which can come in the form of “flashbacks, significant anxiety, depression and fatigue” (Domestic Violence). Other reactions to the violence may include anger, embarrassment, chronic physical complaints, substance abuse, hyper vigilance, social withdrawal, and low self-esteem (Domestic Violence).

Living through domestic violence can lead to psychological disorder called Battered Woman Syndrome. It was first thought to only apply to women, hence the word “woman” in the name, yet it can also apply to men and children who are abused. With the disorder women go through stages. The first stage is denial, when the person will not admit that there is a problem. They justify each action in their head. The next stage is guilt where the person blames their self for the problem. The third stage is enlightenment where the person realizes that the abuse they are living through is not their fault, and should not be happening, yet they still remain with their partner. The last step is responsibility where the person decides that they are not going to allow their partner to abuse them anymore (Psychology).

With Battered Woman Syndrome there are two main outcomes the can happen. The first outcome is when the person decides they are no longer going to let the abuse occur, they leave the situation. They move out of the home or end the relationship so the abuser can no longer hurt them. The second outcome is what led to the discovery of this disorder. The person may see no way out of their situation besides harming or killing the abuser.

Domestic violence is something that effects more people than some realize. A couple that seems happy on the outside could be hiding a terrible secret and more should be done to help these victims stand up for themselves and stop the abuse.



References

Domestic violence. The National Center for Victims of Crime. Retrieved from http://www.ncvc.org/
ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32347.

Domestic violence statistics. (2011).Domestic Violence Resource Center. Retrieved from
http://www.dvrcor.org/domestic/violence/resources/C61/.

Glossary- domestic violence. Sloan Work and Family Research Network. Retrieved from
http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/glossary_entry.php?term=Domestic%20Violence,%20Definition%28s%
29%20of&area=All.

Psychology of the battered woman syndrome. Women’s Rural Advocacy Programs. Retrieved from
http://www.letswrap.com/dvinfo/psych.htm.

Motherhood While Incarcerated

Jails and prisons control most of an inmate’s activities, including visitation with family. For this reason, incarceration can lead to strains in relationships. Mothers, who are known for their close relationships with their children, may feel this strain more intensely than other inmates. An incarcerated mother’s relationship with her children is altered, no matter the age of the child.

In a majority of households, mothers are the main care givers for children. When the mother is removed from the household and incarcerated, the children lose their caregiver. When a mother is incarcerated a majority of the children live with a relative besides their father, one third live with their father, and one tenth are placed in foster care (Incarcerated parents and their children, 2009, p. 5).

For a mother to remain in constant contact with her children it takes the effort of who ever has custody of the children. Children who live with either the father or a relative have a higher chance of having frequent visitation with their mother. A child placed in foster care has to rely on their foster parent to take them to visit their mother which can be made difficult if the foster parent has other foster children.

Willingness to go visit the incarcerated mother is not the only reason it is difficult for women to keep a strong relationship with their children. Many women’s prisons are located away from where the children may be staying. If the prison is too far children may only be able to visit once a month or less. Also, planning trips to visit a mother around the child’s school schedule, the guardian’s scheduale and visitation hours is also difficult.

Some women go into jail or prison while pregnant. For these women there is less time for them to bond with their newborn. This lack of initial bonding can lead to a weaker bond later in the child’s life. The reason the bond between mother and newborn is so strong is that there is a higher level of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that is found in all people which gives them the bonding feeling when hugging or touching others (Palmer, 2002). If prisons or jails do not give female inmates who have just given birth the time to bond with their child, when they are released and reunited with their child the bond may never be strong.

There are some jails and prisons that realize the necessity of a mother bonding with their child. Programs in some prisons and jails allow mothers to spend more time with the child after birth. Where they get to spend the time with and for how long is different with each program. By giving the mother the chance to bond with her child it may give her the desire to turn her life around for the child and no longer do what caused her to be incarcerated.

References

Incarcerated parents and their children. (2009, February). Retrieved April 18, 2011, from The Sentencing Project: http://www.sentencingproject.org/doc/publications/publications/inc_incarceratedparents.pdf

Palmer, L. (2002). Bonding matters... the chemistry of attatchment . Retrieved April 18, 2011, from The Baby Bond: http://www.thebabybond.com/BondingMatters.html